Backwoods Grammar 101

And so it is with us from the backwoods!

We people from the backwoods seem to have our own grammar rules, and it drives the grammar police (or AKA grammar Nazis)  up the wall. When we speak, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to said members of the population. We have to go to school to be educated to learn things the “right” way, or rather, the way the rest of the world does things. Once being educated, we quickly learn about how many grammar rules we break each day out here, and it’s usually all of them on a daily basis.

So I will take a post today to learn about how grammar works in the backwoods much to the laughs of some or the irritation of others.

Enjoy!

1. Ain’t is a word. It is the most versatile word ever known. No conjugation required. Can be used as a helping verb or as an action verb.
2. It’s okay to end sentences with prepositions.
3. In -ing verbs G’s are optional.
4. It’s okay to use double–sometimes triple–negatives.
5. The past tense of bust is busted, regardless if the police are involved or not. We don’t use burst here.  Example: When the tomato hit the floor, it busted.
6. Done can be used as a helping verb. Example: I done been to the store.
7. Fixin’ to is used in an infinitive phrase. Example: I’m fixin’ to go for a walk.
8. Swam is the only participle used for swim. We don’t use swum.
9. Don’t is the universal contraction used for do not. Doesn’t is never used or optional. Example: He don’t know what he’s talkin’ about.
10. Contractions can have more than one apostrophe. Example: Could’nt’ve
11. We use superlative words that usually don’t exist  elsewhere: gooder, goodest, worser, worstest, bester, bestest
12. We usually use good instead of well. Example: I don’t feel too good.
13. We like adding an s to some stores’ names whether it there or not. Examples: Walmarts, Krogers, Kmarts, or Barnes and Nobles.
14. For some of those funky plural exceptions we use an s to keep it simple. Example: gooses, deers, axises, mouses
15. We use brang instead of brought.
16. It’s okay to use me at the beginning of a sentence. Example: Me and Ted went to the store.
17. We use got instead of have. Example: How much money do you got?
18. The phrase Ain’t got no is perfectly acceptable means to communicate lack of having something, and it covers 3 of the grammar rules covered today in one swift strike!

I think that about covers it. If I missed one just leave a comment. Now you can probably communicate with a backwoods person and/or annoy a grammar Nazi near you!